Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Players



It should be pretty clear who we're referring to and when. The etymology of some of these nicknames may prove more elusive.


Lenny DiNardo
(The Lenny) Oakland's sixth starter was much beloved in these parts and an entirely fictional ménage with stringbean hottie/hometown discount sucker Bronson Arroyo caught the imagination of the Comment Board community. Because of his gentle demeanour and good grooming it was assumed that Lenny would occupy the traditional female role in this affair. Accordingly, the submissive partner in any same-sex relationship might be pigeonholed as "The Lenny".


Kason Gabbard
(Typo) On a QWERTY keyboard the "K" is immediately adjacent to the "J". His name is "Kason". We feel that this is more than a coincidence. By logical progression a fifth strikeout by the soft-throwing leftie might be celebrated with celebratory post of "JJJJJason!"


Mike Lowell (Scenic Lowell, Señor Doubles, BEA ARTHUR LOWELL!!(?!?!?)) He's easy on the eye, he's Puerto Rican, and he always gets to second base. Obvious, right? The last monicker's origins are rather more specific and obscure. Beth's mistaken assertion that Lowell's wife was named Beartha (actual name Bertica) provoked sporadic poster Don Penguino to speculate that Lowell might in fact be married to the gravel-voiced Golden Girls comedienne.


Dustin Pedroia (Munchkin Of Havoc, D2-P2) His swing and his capacity for turning a game on its head by sheer force of will are utterly disproportionate to his size (4' 11", 95lbs). His pluck, his usefulness, and his limited height remind certain folks of the ickle robot from Star Wars.


Wily Mo Pena
(WMP451) Coined by Dover (?) after a monster blast at Kauffman estimated at 451 feet. (WMP90) Used very occasionally, after the big man gets a base on balls.


Julian Tavarez
(Batshit) Jools somehow survived being associated with Rudy Seanez and eventually won our hearts with some sterling starting performances at the end of a miserable 2006. We heart him, because everything about him is erratic. In fact the dude is batshit insane.


Mike Timlin
(Old Yeller) In the minds of certain posters his sudden propensity for allowing inherited runners to score was broadly equivalent to a beloved pet (see 2003 - 4) contracting rabies. A humane execution behind the woodshed was proposed. Also he's old and he yells a lot.




Please pop your corrections or suggestions in the comments, guys, and I'll edit accordingly.

20 comments:

candaon said...

first!!!

Just kidding. :lol:

Ted D said...

Second!

Like candaon, just kidding. Nice job Miles: I'll try to add something substantial in the near future. I'm only a year in as a SG contributor though: got to make sure I've got my facts straight.

Cyn said...

"Also he's old and he yells a lot."

You guys are killing me!

:)

hayes said...

Great job...Fourth!!!

Sox on the Beach said...

Nice job, Miles.

::laments lack of descriptive skills to match Miles::

HorshamScouse said...

//Hey, cool! Now what?//

This is what!! Great job Tom.

hayes said...

Since I don't write as well as you all I made it green. :)

Cyn said...

I like the green! :)

Cyn said...

Just a reminder to folks that we're all contributers (and ADMINS too! Yay power!) so if anyone wants to create a new entry, have at it!

Brian James said...

I'm not entirely sure, but I thought JB coined WMP451...although that could just be becausehe had it in his name line for a while...

Tex said...

ok Timlin is "Nails" to me and Sotb

Varitek is Tek, Thighs, Quadzilla, El Capitan

Coco is Hot Coco to me

and I LOVE THIS BLOG!!

Trot's Hat said...

I wish the rest of life came with a comments section.
...Adoration to you all.

hayes said...

"Gabe Kapler, AKA Mazel Tough!"

I know we don't really use this one too much, but I think we should. I love it. Italics needed as well. I'm going to just guess that Red came up with it.

hayes said...

Also, if anyone is interested in putting together a fantasy football league let me of SotB know.

We're in ur blooog, takin yoos names down.

candaon said...

I'm in on fantasy football league. I'm sure we can find a "free" host between the major networks.

candaon said...

I'm in ur blogz, ruinez your times.

candaon said...

First.

Triple post.

Sorry Cyn.

beckperson said...

I hate football.

Nancy said...

That's because you have metal boobs

Sam Jackson's Lovechild said...

i believe i started "ole yeller" back in september 2005